The Angry Magic Duck Brigade

He's angry! He's magic! He's a duck!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Hell Freezes Over: The A.M. Duck Comeback Tour

Dear Mail Clerk:

Thanks for remembering me! Finally! I've just been sitting here, waiting for someone to ask where I've been, cuz I ain't begging for your attention. Freelz and the wasabi mashed potatoes! You gotsta come to me if you want the patented AM Duck take on This Crazy World. I don't need you. I don't need none of you. Wreck. O. Nize.

But to answer your question, yes, I've been in heaven, if by "heaven" you mean "an emotionally fulfilling yet dangerously physical relationship with Judy Greer, star of Jawbreaker and The Village." You might be asking yourself what happened to TV's Lorelai Gilmore, the Belle of Stars Hollow, but I don't really want to get into it; suffice it to say that one Luke "Butch" Daines is not very high on my list of People I Don't Want to Run Over in a Hummer. "What?" What? What kind of answer is that, douchenozzle? Freelz! When Lorelai Gilmore asks you to marry her, you say "Hellz yeah!" not "What?" But I digress. At any rate, it's clear that Lorelai doesn't want the Duck Diggler anymore. Her loss, sez I.

But Kitty Sanchez and I are very happy now, and I've got the scars to prove it. We're holed up watching the Undelcared DVDs at the moment--Seth Rogen: best writer/actor ever?--so I gotsta go, but be on the lookout for more massive missives from yours truly in the fyootch. Wreck-o-nize!

Angry Magic Duck